Why Chris Pratt Would Really Love St. George Utah
Dear Chris Pratt,
Hello, my name is Bonnie. You may know me from The Mikey & The Mrs Show. Or you may know me from my dreams and wild fantasies about us.
I have thought long and hard about how to get you to move to Saint George Utah. I feel I have a compelling argument. Here are the reasons why St. George is a good fit for you.
We have the Saint George Dinosaur Discovery site: This is obviously a perfect spot for you. You could be the curator and the main attraction (after the dinosaurs of course).
I have noticed in several of your films that you enjoy being fit and having well defined, glistening, beautiful muscles. You could work on your bulging biceps at many of our world class fitness clubs like Summit Athletic Club.
If you need help toweling off during or after your workouts, I will selflessly do this for free.
If you prefer your workout to be in nature, boy is Saint George perfect for you! Just as YOU are extremely hot, so is our weather! Which creates perfect temperatures for hiking, swimming or just sunbathing in my backyard.
Speaking of hiking, Zion National Park is a short drive away. I have been to the majority of the trails there and each and every one of them is perfect for
making love to me HIKING.
As I am writing this, I am a married woman. I can change this fact with a simple call to a lawyer. In fact, my husband is a wedding officiant and I’m sure he would love to perform yours and my wedding (if you so choose)
We have great schools and a wonderful family community. I understand you have 3 beautiful children. I would love to meet them and possibly be their
So what do you say? Wanna Move to St. George Utah? I'll show you around, we can get to know each other and...
Wait there's a knock on the door. I'll be right back.
Well, apparently this creeped you out more than I thought it would. Anyway, if you want to move to St. George let me know. Or let my lawyer know, whatever.