The BEST PLACES To Scatter Your Ashes In Southern Utah

The day will come for all of us. Someday we will all be gone. You've probably thought of this question before: "What should they do with my body?" Some people prefer to get buried, some people prefer to be cremated, some people prefer to be stuffed and put in funny positions. Well, if you're choosing the cremation route...

HERE ARE THE BEST PLACES TO SPREAD YOUR ASHES ACROSS SOUTHERN UTAH:

FIESTA FUN GO-CART TRACK:

This is fun for everyone involved. Your ashes are in a coffee tin and your loved ones are racing through the Fiesta Fun Go Cart Track someone takes the lid off the coffee tin, and just like that, you're apart of one of the funnest places in all of St. George. Maybe on some nights, rumors will swirl that they've seen your ghost in first place on the track. That would be awesome!

HYDROTUBE AT ST. GEORGE CITY POOL:

Now this sounds fun! Your buddy takes your ashes in the coffee can and you do one LAST ride down the hydrotube. Before you splash into the water at the end, he throws you up into the air and you're part of the slide forever.

BOHME (RED CLIFFS MALL):

Bohme is a popular clothing store at the mall for chicks. But Bohme USED TO BE an arcade called "Tilt". When they took Tilt out of the mall, a part of me died, so it would be very fitting to scatter my ashes there! 

SAND HOLLOW RESERVOIR:

Sand Hollow is a BLAST! But only scatter the ashes in July! I don't want my remains to be cold for the rest of history. July is the perfect time for your ashes to be scattered in Utah's WARMEST reservoir!

Get our free mobile app

The People You'll See at EVERY Mormon Thanksgiving In Utah!

If you're from Utah, there's an incredibly high chance that your family is predominantly Mormon, now known as "A member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints", but for time sake, we're going to just say Mormon. Every Thanksgiving I've EVER been apart of, has been a Mormon Thanksgiving.

Here are the Main Characters that you'll find at EVERY Mormon Thanksgiving in Utah:

The Too Young To Be Married Couple:

Your 18 year old cousin and her 20 year old husband are here. They got married a few months ago. She graduated high school 6 months ago, and he got home from his mission 4 months ago. The family is so thrilled for them, and not at all nervous that maybe they're too young to be married, and not able to legally buy alcohol.

The Crier: 

This is usually reserved for the very Mormon grandma at the dinner. She's so grateful for everything that she's usually moved to tears. You'll also hear at least 3 times how grateful for The Savior for this beautiful family.

The Judgy Uncle:

They always look the same. Dress shirt, khakis, glasses, either no hair or that comb-over style dad haircut. They're usually need everyone to know they're the SMARTEST one at the table, and if you don't agree with them, you're an idiot! He will be leading the family in the family prayer.

The Outspoken Liberal Aunt:

She left the church, her hair is now dyed purple or pink or something. She needs to let everyone know political views, and it's all she wants to talk about. Her personality is now 100% LIBERAL. That's all she offers to the conversation before she gets offended and leaves the table.

The MAGA Uncle:

It goes without saying... MAGA Uncle and Outspoken Liberal Aunt don't get along. MAGA Uncle is probably wearing a "Don't Tread On Me" Hat or shirt. He has some WILD views about how corn is making kids gay or something.

The Extremely Religious Grandpa That Doesn't Show It:

The glue holding this entire family together. Grandpa hasn't missed church since the Vietnam War, but he doesn't push it on anyone. He's sweet to everyone, always makes good jokes, and falls asleep watching TV after dinner.

The Possibly High or Drunk Cousin:

Your cousin shows up and they're being extremely quiet. They don't want to be there, but it's Thanksgiving. Their eyes aren't bloodshot, but we're certain they're probably high or have had some alcohol prior to dinner.

The Weird BYU Cousins:

These family members you see once a year, and there's like 5 of them. They're SO MORMON and would explode if they ever said a swear word. They're like Carlton from The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air, but white.