Things I Would Take Aliens To Do In Southern Utah
Well, It was just confirmed by the United States Government that Aliens DEFINITELY exist, and we have biological remains that are not human. That means our government has found ACTUAL ALIEN BODIES/BODY PARTS. This only confirms what I've already believed, however. Aliens are real, they've been here, and our government knows about them.
But the real question is... What would you do with Aliens in Southern Utah? Here's my list.
1. Make out on Dixie Rock:
I'm absolutely going to AT LEAST make out with an alien. How many chances to do that will I get in this lifetime? Probably not many. Now the obvious place to take them is Dixie Rock around sunset or sunrise.
2. Fiesta Family Fun Center:
I know I could beat some aliens at arcade games, bowling, and mini golf, but I'm not positive I can beat them at Laser Tag. That's like... their thing, right?! Either way, we'd be laughing and having a great time together.
3. A quick probing:
Just because. None of your business!
4. Take the alien to Crumbl:
I imagine Aliens have to eat just like we do, right? After the probing, I know I'd like something sweet! Crumbl usually hits that spot, plus it's a Utah staple! The alien will lose it's mind at what they've been missing on Planet Earth and Crumbl is DEFINITELY something they've been missing out on.
5. Tuacahn's Charlie And The Chocolate Factory:
If you're in town in the summertime, you've got to go to Tuacahn. It's Broadway in the desert, baby! Plus, I heart Charlie And The Chocolate Factory is DOPE this year! We'll go to that, and ya'll better not stare at the alien. Let them feel like a normal St. Georgian.
6. Boating at Sand Hollow:
I want to know if Aliens tan well in the summer, if they do good in water, if they can waterski, wakeboard, all of that!