Come On! Let’s Make These Crimes LEGAL In Southern Utah!
There's some crimes that will get you locked up here... And I think it's CRAP!
Here's my list of CRIMES that should be totally legal in Southern Utah, but aren't...
I NEVER did this as a kid, but I remember it was done to our house once! INNOCENT FUN! Come on! As long as nothing is permanent or ruins anything... LET TP-ING SOMEONE'S HOUSE BE LEGAL!
Egging Someone's House:
Again... Like TP-ing someones house, I don't think this one is all that bad! If it's gunna take paint off the stuff, then yeah screw that. But if not... INNOCENT FUN!
Stealing a $5 item, if I have to ring up my own items:
This one only feels right! I'm ringing my stuff up. I'm doing all the work. I should be allowed a free candy bar or something! COME ON WALMART! You're not paying an employee, AND the prices didn't go down.
Parking in a handicapped spot if there's a few empty ones:
Look... I think we can find a happy medium here! If there's AT LEAST 3 handicapped spots left, I should be able to park in one. I'll hurry! It's a great spot!
Going through a red light if nobody is around:
Utah was actually looking into making this a real law! But there's a lot to this one... I say if you're at a red light, and nobody is coming... You should be able to go through that red light. But, some jerk is going to ruin that for everyone when he tries to go through at the WRONG time!
Punching someone that mouths off to you for no reason:
I stand by this one with my FULL HEART! If you're going to mouth off to someone... Expect to get punched. That should be a law. Call the cops. They show up and say "You got punched? Well.. were you being a butthead?" If the answer is yes, or it's caught on camera... YOU DESERVED IT! Maybe people will learn to be a little more nice!
Here's Where To Find The BEST RANCH DRESSING In Southern Utah!
I'm a SLUT for Ranch Dressing! There's a huge community of us here in Southern Utah. We absolute DO NOT play around with Hidden Valley Ranch! However, Wild Coyote Ranch is pretty acceptable. But if you're looking for some INCREDIBLE Ranch Dressing in Southern Utah... Here are the places you'll find it!
Pizza Factory / Pasta Factory:
Top of the list! Absolute number one is the ranch at Pizza Factory and Pasta Factory. It's absolutely unfair how delicious it is. It's not too thick or too thin, and always tastes fresh. It works with Bread, Salad, on pasta, literally anywhere you could even imagine! It's the best!
Wingers Ranch is a thicker boy, but SO DELICIOUS! Every time I get Wingers I'm like Yo... Can I also get a pint of your ranch!? It's even better when the Wingers Amazing Sauce get's into the ranch. Plus: Have you ever dipped your popcorn in that Amazing Sauce + Ranch? SO GREAT!
I've always liked the ranch at Texas Roadhouse, but I would've never thought about adding them to this list until I started asking around. 100% of everybody that I asked put Texas Roadhouse Ranch on their list!
Slice House Pizza Co.:
Slice House Pizza Co. is located in the Outlets at Zion where the old Roy's Pizza was. This is one of my favorite stops for Pizza. But what's even better than their pizza is their ranch. It's such an amazing compliment to their pizza and cheese sticks. ALWAYS better with Ranch!
I know... You're thinking I'm crazy right? But no! Denny's ranch actually slaps! I like to dip their burgers into their ranch, but what's even better is their Seasoned Fries dipped in ranch! Your life will be forever changed!
I'm always looking for more places with AMAZING ranch, so please... If I forgot any places that have the best ranch in town, please let me know!
These Southern Utah Parking Lots Are Straight FROM HELL!
Costco is in a league of it's own when it comes to BAD PARKING LOTS! I don't even know of a good time to go to Costco. But it's DEFINITELY NOT on a Saturday between the hours of 12:00pm - 3:00pm.
Washington Walmart is WILD. It's always SO PACKED, there's shopping carts EVERYWHERE, and I never know which side the groceries are on! It drives me bananas!
ANGELICA'S MEXICAN GRILL:
OH MAN! This one is rough! Angelica's is always so packed, but the parking lot is tiny! I usually have to park on the street a ways away, just to go enjoy some glorious tacos!
RED ROCK COMMONS:
WOW! This one is bad. Especially over by Chick-Fil-A. People are just merging left and right without looking... There's GOT to be accidents regularly over there!
Once again... Tons of people going in and out of Target, and I feel like the lanes aren't wide enough. People are always backing up without looking, people are coming in to the parking lot at 40 mph. Say your prayers before and after entering that parking lot!
MCDONALD'S ON BLUFF (AFTER DARK):
This one is REALLY NARROW, and they've got a ONE-WAY there as well. But once the sun goes down, and it get's later... This parking lot is TRULY where nightmares come from. Once I sat in that drive-thru at midnight for over a half hour, and I couldn't even back up and leave because of how narrow it was. I was a prisoner on McDonald's Island!
FIZZ (RIVER ROAD):
This Fizz ALWAYS has cars spilling out onto River Road, it's just SO BUSY! But with the line reaching River Road, it gets totally unsafe!
Texas Roadhouse's parking lot is always MAD PACKED, and pretty narrow... Any time I'm in there, old people are just backing out without looking. Keep your head on a swivel in that parking lot!
I love this place so much, but I get SWEATY in this parking lot! Once you're in the drive thru line, you're committed! You can't back out, you can't leave. It's bad. Plus... the food is made fresh, so you're going to be in line for a good while!
ST. GEORGE SHUTTLE:
The St. George Shuttle is doing really well apparently, because there's NEVER anywhere to ever park there. People are just parked out on the street now! It's a mess trying to get in there!
If Southern Utah Towns Were Schitt's Creek Characters!
Rowland Schitt. A LOTTA BIT redneck, but everyone loves him. Very funny, very innocent. VERY HURRICANE!
If ANYBODY on the show SCREAMS Cedar City... It's Bob. I don't know what it is about him, but I wouldn't be shocked AT ALL if he was actually from Color Country!
Sun River, absolutely is Johnny Rose! Very classy, older guy, always wears a suit... Probably not a swinger like SO MANY of the Sun River residents!
Little Valley. David Rose. The Few, The Proud, The Little Valleyians. They know they're the best, they know they're better than all of us. That's ALL DAVID ROSE!
Kayenta is where ALL THAT MONEY IS AT! Like... Millions! That's Moira, baby!
Jocelyn Schitt is Washington City! A little bit country, a little bit redneck, but SO MUCH HEART. So much love. She's like a nice warm hug.
Desert Color is the new development out by BigShots Golf. If you've ever been out there, the residents ALL want to be influencers, and they want EVERYONE to know that they are living in Desert Color. Alexis Rose!
Enterprise is Twyla! A sweetheart, a little bit country, just nice! That's ALL ENTERPRISE... minus the corn!
Gif Credit: Giphy.com
LOOK OUT! Utah Ranks #1in Nation At THIS Deadly Act!
According to a new study done by Forbes, Utah has ranked #1 in the entire United States for one deadly thing... ROAD RAGE!
Utah was most likely in the nation to be report being honked at in frustration (76%). While 58% of people in Utah report being flipped off by someone else behind the wheel.
Utah drivers were also 2nd in the nation in saying they've been tailgated while driving (73%). Shockingly, only 47% of people surveyed admitted to having someone speed up to block them from changing lanes! I feel like we've all had that happen to us!
Of all the Utahn's surveyed, about 1/4 people admit to knowing someone that was injured or killed due to road rage.
The states coming in after Utah were...
5. New Mexico
Of everyone in the nation surveyed, over 22% of people reported to witnessing an actual accident at the hands of road rage!
Ranking The HOTTEST Mayors In St. George History
Look... I appreciate history. Especially the history of my hometown, St. George, Utah. Another thing I can appreciate... HOTTNESS! I will now be ranking the Hottest Mayors in the history of St. George, Utah.
If you also appreciate history and hottness, this list is for YOU!
(In no particular order)
1. Thomas Judd
He's a virgo, a father of 10, and a Bugle player in the Navajo Indian War. As if that's not enough to get him on this list... he also had a sexy British accent! Thomas was born in Chestershire, England, before making his way to St. George when he was 19 years old. You may recognize his name from his VERY St. George Famous store/restaurant that's still around today! Thomas Judd's Store Co., known simply as "Judd's".
#2. Karl Brooks
Karl was a REAL St. Georgian! Born here, passed here. But what gets him on the list of HOTTNESS is a couple things. 1. THOSE BABY BLUES! Check out those peepers, man! I'm a sucker for blue eyes, and he had great ones! 2. What's hotter than helping our community? Not much. Karl was Mayor for 12 years (1982-1994) and the city EXPLODED with him at the helm! St. George went from 7-square miles to 60-square miles and 10,000 in population to 50,000 in population!
#3. Bill Barlocker
What puts Bill on this list? Don't ask stupid questions! LOOK AT THOSE TEETH! This photo was taken in what? the 60's? Teeth in the 60's were usually like the Spice Girls: They're all different colors, and doing their own thing! Also... That hairline! I'm actually jealous of it. Guaranteed this dude never went bald. The teeth and hairline get Bill on this list with zero questions asked!
#4. Joseph Young
Did his photo give you a jump-scare? Me too. And that's HOT! He looks like he just hid a body somewhere on Pine Valley, but those eyes are piercing! Another great hairline, great eyes, full-on Amish beard, and those cheekbones? COME ON JOSEPH! Save some scary but sexy features for the rest of us. If you see Joseph in your dreams, it's either the best dream you've ever had, or the worst nightmare you've ever had, and there's no in-between.
#5. Anthony Ivins
Before ANYTHING else... The dude is just hot. I'm jealous of the beard. I'm jealous of his hairline, and i'm jealous of his overall swag. He was born in New Jersey, made the trek across the plains as a 1-year old baby! That's SHOCKING that he even survived. That's HOT. Seven years later, he and his family made the trek to St. George to be one of the first families to ever live here. Plus... The city of Ivins is named after him! 100% HOT!
#6. Current Mayor: Michele Randall
She's the FIRST female Mayor in St. George history. THAT'S HOT! I'm a sucker for firsts, and that's a big one! Plus... the obvious! She's a babe and we all know it. But the biggest reason she's on this list has been her fight with cancer. She had her own battle with Breast Cancer and she's come out on top! My own mother had her battle in 2020, and Michele was there for her. It was VERY COOL and I've loved her ever since. She's also used her platform to encourage women to get their annual mammograms! And that's definitely HOT!
Washington County Historical Society. https://wchsutah.org/towns/st-george-mayors.php
Google Earth: Earth.Google.com